Lockdown
Why this blog?
I think I always had some kind of issues with my menthal health. Somehow I always feel a bit depressed, although I normally fight myself and end up being able to live the day to day life whithout too many issues.
But 2020 ruined my ability to keep afloat during my more depressive moments.
I’ve been fighting more than ever, but sometimes I only think about giving up — I kind of feel the need to press a reset button that humans don’t have.
I’ve been trying to put my feelings into writing, because that’«s something that I always wanted to do, but, it’s not easy to fight my other big issue — procrastination. And most of all, the other blog where I try to have a somehow constant presence (it’s not constant — I tried to start it over and over again for the last 10 years — it’s normally constant for a month or so and then if falls on the back of my mind) has a specific theme. Where I don’t want to talk about the dificulties that I have trying to not go “crazy” or “crazy depressive”.
And then there’s the fact, that my mind seems to go everywhere, I can be super focused on let’s say travel — this is one of my biggest passions — but then that stops and I start seeing 1001 youtube videos about diy, and I say to myself, I would love to do that, and 5m later I’m thinking about cooking, or books, or fanfiction — one of my hidden hobbies — or a crazy conspiracy theory, day to day life, or why my love life is inexistent.
The reality is that I want to be able to write about all this, and more, I want to be able to share my feelings with the world whitout having to put them in a specific box.
Will this work?
Probably not, as I said before, the procrastination is normally my biggest enemy.
But, why shouldn’t I try again? After all, this is free, and I’ll eventually have1 or 2 people reading this. (I do hope it’s not someone who knows who I am).
So, what I wanted to say in this crazy rambling?
I’ve been fighting for my menthal health, and I think that writing about what I’m feeling and thinking about could be a good way to do it. — I also finnaly started therapy last year (FINNALY!!!) so at least that — My mind likes to wander trough 1001 themes, but I’m an expert in absolutly nothing.
And I would like to have a space where I can write about things that I’m kind of embaressed to love.
What I’ll write about?
Me — I’m kind of narcisistic, and I like to talk about myself
Lockdown — It was a challenge, not in the same way as everyone else, but on the becoming even more reclusive that I already was
Menthal health — not only mine, but also things that I read about and that could eventually halp other people
Books — it’s one of my passions (i have more than 10k books) and I loke to talk about it — I also have a big issue, I haven’t read not even half of the bookes that I have (I inherithed most of them) but I keep on buying books, for me its impossible to enter a bookstore and leave it whitouth buying at least one. And sometimes a little bit of fanfiction, but I still don’t know how and why will I share about it.
Food — I always loved to eat, but this year — and like for millions of people — I discovered that I also like to cook — sometimes the result is not perfect, but, why not share does adventures
Inspiring people — not the bill gates kind, but more of those influencers — nowadays everyone is an influencer — on the topics that I love: travel; diy; foodies; comedy; and activists in so many causes, but manly feminist, lgbt, minories and some kind of politics.
conspiracy theories — yes I love to read about it, so why not share some of them?
LGBT — My ideas about it, either how I feel to be part of a comunity whitout being part of it — i’ll write a full article on this — or some themes that are dificult to me to understand — and this could go from the how are there people who don’t accept lgbt people, to the normalization of a neutral language — my mother thong is very feminine\masculine — and although I’m all for it, I’ve been having some dificulties to change the way I speak to be totally inclusive
My fight against procrastination
Why do I sometimes feel unloved
Politics — I do love politics, so I’ll end up writing about it, one way or another.
And finally I think I have to end up writing about 2020, a year that brought me to this, a moment where I want to share feelings, but thinking about sharing them with the world, because they’re too private to share them with my friends, or I still haven’t had the courage to share them with my therapist.
And just as a disclaimer, my 2020 ended up with a car accident, where I tottalled my car, catching Covid, loosing someone very close to me to Covid, and so far I don’t think I was able to grieve, loosing my job, and feeling extremely lonely.
So … let’s start this sharing experience.
